I have long held that any and every candidate for major political office in America has already sold out long before hand and is unworthy of my trust.  This would include those running for the office of the Presidency.  But that small point aside, we have been treated over the last few months to a spectacle that equates to the political version of American Idol and it is called the Presidential Election.  Now we are down to only three finalists and in the end, the audience will vote for the one that sings the best song.  The insults are flying and the apologies are following but look guys, you don’t have to say you’re sorry ever again.  You can still get elected.  Take for example, the Pope, who was elected despite insulting the Jews, Muslims, Christians and every other non-Catholic religion.

The Pope in question is the former Joseph Ratzinger or as he is now known after his election - Pope Benedict XVI.  Joseph grew up in Nazi Germany as a member of the “Hitler’s Youth” organization.  According to MSNBC’s 2005 report from Keith Olbermann, “At age, 14 membership in Germany's "Hitler Youth" became mandatory. So Joseph Ratzinger enrolled. Two years later, when he was 16, Ratzinger was drafted again by the German Army.  Ratzinger worked as a helper in an anti-aircraft brigade.  In 1945, he was put through basic training and stationed near his hometown in Bavaria.”

 Rest easy Obama.  Your former Pastor’s problems pale by comparison. 

This Pope has often offended the Jews:

Ratzinger angered Jews when he was a Cardinal for refusing to apologize for the Holocaust and accept guilt on behalf of the Church for the Catholics' role in it.  Complicity in the Holocaust in his view wasn’t something he’d be willing to apologize for.

 Flushed with success after pissing off the Jews, the Pope next went after the Muslims:

Mohammed, he said, brought things "only evil and inhuman" and that he "spread by the sword the faith he preached".

Really on a roll now, the Pope set his sights on the Buddhists:

In 1997, Ratzinger called Buddhism an “autoerotic spirituality” that strives for “transcendence without imposing concrete religious obligations.” He also hinted that Buddhism would replace Marxism as the Church’s biggest enemy by the year 2000.

And then he pissed off all the other religions in his 2000 treatise entitled "Declaration Dominus Iesus," in which he said non-Catholic religions are "gravely deficient."  

Today, incredibly, we are graced with Joseph Ratzinger, recently elected Pope Benedict XVI, touring the United States, smiling and kissing babies all over New York City.  He filled Yankee Stadium last week with a Mass for the masses.  He met with religious leaders of all faiths and nobody seemed upset anymore.  All the insults were forgotten.  So take heart, Hillary, Obama and John, there’s hope and forgiveness ahead for each of you.

Hillary can fib about running and ducking sniper’s bullets all she wants.  Obama can mock the small town citizens for hanging on to guns and religion without worrying one iota about the consequences. The Republican party has, incredibly enough, found a crusty, foul-mouthed and bad tempered old man named John McCain to guarantee America a continuation of  bankrupt policies that have collapsed the economy and prolonged an illegitimate war in Iraq.  Nothing to worry about now John.

The Pope has shown us all that no matter what wrongs we commit, no matter who we insult, eventually they forget and we can get elected.  Aren’t elections wonderful?

Geoffrey